Save Mos Eisley Cantina!
Dear Patrons of Mos Eisley,
For almost 4000 years, Mos Eisley Cantina has been your place to escape the drudgery of inter-galactic space travel, a place to grab an ice cold blue milk, or house specialty Tatooine Sunset after a hard day on patrol, a place to lay low from bounty hunters while your trail cools…
And now, despite this legacy of quality service to our community, our reputation as an iconic and fabled establishment is under threat from a profusion of 2 star Yolp reviews. We have reason to believe that our competitor, The Space Bucket on the 7th ring of Yatooni Booska, has been posting these reviews maliciously in an attempt to deter our customers and surreptitiously rebrand Mos Eisley as a violent and lawless dive bar with a history of lackluster service, sub-par libations, and mediocre entertainment.
Mos Eisley will not stand for this smearing! We vehemently contest these hateful and poorly-written reviews as fraudulent, and with your help we intend to take back our 5 star rating as the best cantina in the known galaxy.
Join us on Sunday night, July 3rd from 7-9pm (a short time from now, in a galaxy called Belden) to reclaim Mos Eisley’s reputation and forever put to rest the rumor that we are a violent, seedy, trash-fence of a bar that only attracts nefarious villains and other space miscreants.
We will have live music! We will have gogo dancers! And, as always, we will have tight security. LEAVE YOUR WEAPONS IN YOUR CRAFTS! We never know when the Empire will pay us a visit. And of course, leave your droids behind too—no exceptions! Remember, we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.
Dress code: We welcome all species, races, and ethnicities at Mos Eisley. If you need some visual inspiration for this special event, go here.
Look for your FREE blue milk coupons in the days/hours leading up to the event. We look forward to serving you, and we look forward to reading your GLOWING, unsolicited 5 star Yolp review. Mos Eisley—where no one knows your name, and it’s better that way.